I've been asked this questions at least 4 times this week and its only Wednesday....

maybe its the Covid talking , people seem to be alone with their thoughts more than ever , the clammer of the world seems muffled and we are hearing ourselves a little more and perhaps its time to listen, or in this case ask...The conversations started differently, one with swearing, one with tears and one with questions and one with je ne sais quoi.

The topic was once again was me, you, them in friendships.

" Am I this mean awful person?

What is wrong with me ?

Is it me ?

What did I do?

How could she have done that to me?

Who does that?

What on freaking earth !

After all Ive done for him!

Why would she do this ?"

Any of these sound familiar ?

Seriously I'm not relationship expert , but I have said some of these things, only to have a glass of wine with tears , fall asleep and wake up "All better". Still I know it can be heavy on some folks hearts. It use to be on mine. It use to be that if EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP in my life wasn't intact and OK it would drive me batty! I was a hot mess, it tortured me and would not let me rest until things either got talked about and resolved or we both pretended everything was OK again. Until I grew up ...

You see now that I know what it feels like to leave ALL my friends behind and I've been given the gift or starting over and rebuilding friendships, I have learned that the secret to having good friends is to examine what kind of friend I am, what kind of a friend or human I am not and what kind of friend do I want to be.

First of all, I don't pack much punch in the area of beauty , talents and abilities, Im short, fluffy average and simple and once I realized that I had to think about what on earth could i offer any one! Im not the popular one and I didn't have much so I came up with this...

" When I die I want people to remember me by my love for them, not because they did something for me or gave me anything, just because they were authentic with me and let me be authentic with them.

I understand I'm not much but because of that I want to love much, like I said, I don't have a list of accolades to impress you with but I do have a passion and drive to learn how to love you if you let me. It's all Ive got but what I've got is real and its from my heart,

its " authentic ". So when asked questions like the ones above my answers are sort of the same to all of them..." What happened? What part was yours ? Did you own it ? Did it teach you anything about yourself , if yes what ? How will you be a better friend ? " Then I give them permission to let go and remind them, " You are valuable in this friendship, you should be heard, respected, valued and if someone is doing things to you that you would never do to another then maybe you need to make some healthy choices for your self. Maybe you need to realize that there are friends for a season, a reason and a life time and then see what place this person has in your life . As a farm girl we are constantly learning to let go, crops get harvested , others we share, and some just die , but thats OK, there is always another planting season right around the corner.